I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
