True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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