The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
