Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
