soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
