moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
