He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
