butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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