Pappa wants mamma naked
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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