If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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