please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
