im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
