god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize