Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
