It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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