I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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