we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
