The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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