You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
