My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
