Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
