I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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