Define "chronic" masturbator.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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