Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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