the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
