I just made out with a guy for $7.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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