The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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