I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
