don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
