You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
