Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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