I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
