Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
