How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i would punch a child for taco bell
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize