Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
