That's when you crack a 10am beer
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
