At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
