Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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