3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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