you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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