just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
