My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
