My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
