the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
