I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
