Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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