come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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