that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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