I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
