You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
