I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
