You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
