So drunk its hurt
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
