Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
