quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
