ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
