This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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